tages karte

[….]

Catatan Akhir 2017 December 31, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 3:11 pm

So, yeah, 2017 will be over soon, like in about 2 hours. As usual, am not going anywhere… that’s what Introverts do, disliking the crowds at the New Year’s Eve.

Yeap. So, I decided to write again, no I won’t put writing blogs as one of my 2018 resolution. no no no. I think this is my way on preventing early dementia. Like yes, I forgot easily now, so let’s just try to write, not-like-everyday journal doh, but I will write when I feel like expressing some thoughts.

First one, my thoughts for wasted time during 2017. I must admit that I spent too many unproductive hours, days, months within this year, because of my work, and of course because I was limiting (probably) myself not to pursue harder on something. Tried the online course, but was too lazy to follow on the modules and try to do the homeworks (and this one counted as wasted money too). Well, could be that I was looking at one direction only, thinking that it might be the best thing I can pursue, so I didn’t set eyes on the others, but I missed… yeah, life’s getting harder and looks like I need to align the strategies (so I can have a more proper job — better salary — more quality in life).

Second, my thoughts for health, no I didn’t get (and hopefully won’t) such a chronic illness, but some of my friends were ill and they were so young. One of them passed away last October, after battling for Leukemia. Two others are now still battling with Brain Cancer 😦 and am kinda postponing my health check because I haven’t get a new job (with better salary or some great health insurances that covers medical check up) — yeah this one of the reason I won’t stay long ….– no wait, okay, so health issue, yeah kinda feeling a bit worry with my heart pulse rhythm, it always goes thump thump every time ~i see a good looking guy smiling back at me~ i lay down for a rest. I wish i could find some time like on the first days on 2018 to meet a doctor and have it checked.

Third, Job. Yes, I’m feeling a bit low and desperate on finding a new one (for the reasons above) but haven’t been able to make a jump because I was pretty lousy on the interviews (and those tests huks), my resume is like piece of crap – nothing’s worthy from my experiences that i could sell — yes, and that cornered me a lot, and to be honest, I haven’t been able to stand up again, having my confidence shredded to dust, I don’t know how will I be able to stand up for a new job… while staying is just not right. Oh God, not that I’m ungrateful (some people thinks so though -or maybe God does to?), well don’t know, forgive me God if You found that I’m ungrateful, but You do know I need those things… right? 😀

Fourth, Love. Yes, still not lucky. No further explanations. It’s not you, It’s just me.

Fifth, Family. Yes, again still not lucky. On meeting my parents’ hope, on being a good child, good sister, and everything. Am just that selfish bayeitch,  I wish I could do some more, but this is the point when I come really helpless about.

Yep, got to end my babblings here, cause my eyes just can’t take it anymore… am getting old and these eyes need to shut for a while.

 

See you in 2018.

Advertisements
 

Rejections August 22, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 1:19 pm

in my whole life, this word is very familiar. every now and then, it’s just underneath the thin air.

 

why these two lonely people… August 16, 2017

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 1:51 pm

I know I’m lonely. and it looks like that you are too (despite you have her, somewhere out there)

I know that my feelings are just wrong, and even considered trespassing the holy commandments. I am guilty as charged.

I know I want you, but you don’t want me, ha! so, what’s the point of having a one-sided crush? One thing that keeps repeating, why do i fall in love with someone whom I can’t have? why can’t I have someone that I love? yelling out that it’s unfair, won’t solve anything. So, in order to safe me from karma, and humiliation of one-sided-crush, I have to be put in sober, snapped back by reality, that I’m old, off the market, am not Amal Clooney … yep.

 

Because I know that, I am not… Amal Clooney

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 1:39 pm

Berkaca dan berdoa.

2 hal yang selalu ditekankan ke guweh, oleh sang penampol ulung — well, the fact she always got my feet back to the ground with her wise (and sometimes sharp) words, made her my “penampol” 😀

Entah emang nature guweh yang selalu ke-GR-an kalo ada makhluk planet Mars mulai perhatian, so sometimes to make me a bit sober, I need to be snapped here and there, to get me on realizing, who I am.

 

The waiting is long… June 14, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 2:13 pm

Today, it’s been 75 days. No job. Not even a single light, feedback upon dozens of resume, online applications, offline application… 

Should i give up on this leap? Should i go back to where i was? I’m just getting dull…

 

14 Days … being unemployed April 14, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 4:15 pm
Tags:

So, yeah. I finally got what I’ve been waiting for. The cutoff to join the new company has came. I decided not to continue doing the things that I don’t want to do for the rest of my life. I don’t know whether it’s a wise decision… but I took all the risks and crossing my fingers.

All the people who asked, mostly questioned “Why?” … “What will you do next?” … “What if, you don’t get any job?” 

Well, I don’t know how to answer those questions as well. I’m like… free jumping here. I hope the “net” will be strong enough though. And to be honest, I’m beginning to lose hope… shrinking faith… on questioning myself “Will I survive this?”

 

Menua di Penantian November 22, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — sicoreng @ 2:59 am
Tags:
Menua di Penantian

Getting Old in Waiting

Menua di Penantian.
Tukang becak di pinggiran jalan Kawasan Pasar Batik Kauman, Solo.
Menanti penumpang mungkin sudah merupakan hal yang biasa dalam hidupnya, beliau terlihat sangat tenang dalam penantian, di usia yang semakin menua.